My View From The Litter Box

My View From The Litter Box
Cats pets humor

Saturday, December 30, 2006



THE WEEKEND EDITION, With CAIN!!!!!!!


Hiya Hiya Folks! Well its official . Murphy had the papers drawn up and it seems that iam now a fixed body here on the blog. Weekend editions only but, yanno how it goes, some good looking co anchor gets hired and soon the regular host is kicked out , kinda like what happend to Arron Brown over at CNN when andy cooper came waltzing his suave ass in ;)



We begins tonight blog with this story. http://apnews.myway.com/article/20061230/D8MB755G0.html
HES DEAD! move on, lets put it past us, and see if we can get the troops out of iraq.
otherwise, we are there beating a dead dictator. Mission accomplished! yadda yadda,,
for those that wished they coulda been there, heres a link for the morbids,
http://www.rawstory.com/showoutarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.msnbc.msn.com%2Fid%2F16389128%2F%3FGT1%3D8816



On to other news this eveing. The owners decided to watch DOG! thats the show about a bounty hunter? well as i was cleaning my toes i happend to look up at the tv screen and OMG folks! Beth, his wife has the biggest fake boobs a cat has ever seen! No really , she puts to shame my old neighbors cat who had 3 litters in one and half yrs, so yanno she was bagged out bigtime! It didint even look normal for this woman on the tv screen. shes all boobs and stilettos heels! How can she chase down bad asses ? how can she tackel anyone fleeing from the dog? I suppose if she played buffer and the perp ran straight into her, they might bounce back say a good 20 ft into the waiting arms of DOG and he gets his man! Either way, all i could do was finish cleaning my toes and mutter words like ´´damn´´!!



More stuff to tell ya folks about. It seems that when one of the humans here use the comp to like pay online bills, they can become quite frustrated over aol saying bye bye in mid transaction. So they get into what i call the PANIC PAY!!!
work fast, light cigarettes one after the other, throw the pack of cigs off to the left after lighting one and peck fast and furious at the laptop in hopes of finishing the online transaction befour aol says GOODBYE!

It can be at times amusing to watch this form of human behaviour, as the PANIC PAY really brings out the worst in ems. Snippy, worried, hyper,, like they just sucked back a gallon of caffe expresso. And never make the mistake of like talking to em either during this non athletic event either. No distractions, all must be quiet and hush for this brain surgery to take place. ODD!!



And it seems that as is custom here in Germany, the day befour New years eve, some ppl decide to test out some of thier fireworks they brought, to make sure they work? folks, its got a fuse, its packed with black powder, the only thing that might, cause the fireworks to not ignite is if you drop em in water. So as murph and i were upstairs sleeping, sure enough, comes the 30 hours befour the end of the newyear, testing of fireworks! I ran, murph followed and we hid downstairs under chairs, or behind the couch. Finaly, whatever numbnutted neighbor it was, figured out that yes,, they lite and ignite and it goes BOOM BOOM , after 23 tries!

EDDDDIOTTTS! Our owners have a plan this yr for us, as they wont be home. They will leave the tv on hit24 music videos all eveing and night long for us cats along with the main light too. That way we wont hear the loud booms or see the blasts of fireworks and i think in the end, when the humans come home it will be good.
I mean, panic poops arent something a human wants to be greeted by as they come home and get knocked out from the whiff of em. I hope hit24 plays alot of heavy metal,, all those drums, etc.



Speaking of poop, it seems that murphy has a new game going on. And its a one minute warning too for our owners.
When murphy has to like make some deposits inside his litter box, after this number 2 deed is done, he races back out into the living room. Oh and makes meowing noises too. Perhaps hes announcing to the humans, look what i can do?
Regardless, this is ´´wasderfaces´´ last chance to get to the bathroom, grab the pooper scooper and flush that Mt.Lion pile far far away. The other night, as the humans were waiting on the pizza delivery guy, murphy pulled this stunt! i mean he had all day to make a deposit but noooooooooo,,,,, he decides to do it right befour the expected ETA of the pizza man! The action from the humans was fast and furious! One scooped , the other grabbed the Axe body spray and purified the air ! They test sniffed the air,, deemed it not good enough and closed the bathroom door, untill the pizza man came. If the dude did smell anything , he didint let on. I spied em from the top of the stairs and he didint wrinkle his nose or cock one eyebrow . Thank god for AXE body spray!



Now heres the part where i could leave you folks some links to the on going events in the world but nah,,, theres a time to say, pffft to political shit and a time to just sit back and have fun. So heres some cool stuff for ya to check out !



http://www.break.com/index/bad_sportsman_gets_served.html

love it when bad asses get beat down :)



http://www.break.com/index/massive_beer_pong_game_in_fast_forward.html

thats alot of suds to suck back!



http://www.break.com/index/drunk_breakdancer_knocks_himself_out.html

Epileptic´? Or just a moron? I am thinking its the latter!



I think its my time to say later! Befour i leave, I along with Murphy and the humans, ´´wasderface ´´ and ´´the spoiler´´ want to wish you all a Happy New Year! dont drink and drive and grab the keys from other humans who drank to much punch, beer , etc.

Ill be back on monday to fill ya fine folks in on my owners newyears eve!

Um,, i dont speak latin like murphy so,, ok heres a parting shot,

its a german saying and believe me humans ITS REALLY TRUE!!! oh and yes ill translate !

´´Bier auf Wein, das lass sein.

Wein auf Bier, das rat ich Dir!"

(Beer after Wine, let that be. Wine after Beer, that I recommend.) in other words, dont drink any beer after any wine!!! otherwise, its gonna hurt the next day!!









Regards,,,,,

MR.CAIN, Sub Blogger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 29, 2006



How not to report breaking news . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkjbZZ8vqfU. someone hand this lady some water, perhaps a inhaler for asthma? damn,, poor thing. She kinds sounded like a old cat lady i knew once. lotta hair balls she was capable and known for tossing up too! Perhaps this human in her zeal for coverage, just got overworked up or something yanno? I mean saddams swinging in the wind is just hours away and maybe she wanted to be first one to bring it ya live on the air!

speaking of, seems thats all the news tonight is covering, saddams soon to be hanging. Nothing really about anything going on over in iraq, like car bombs that killed more ppl or roadsize bombs that killed more troops. Nope, saddams hanging is thee leading story for every major news outlette. Last night as my owners were up late and watched 360 with anderson cooper, there was a segment on by a pathologist , who was saying that hanging isint really painfull. Pretty much as soon as the rope snaps, so does the persons neck. It was like watching some really sick twisted version of the science guy . It went on in detail how the brain will shut down and a person can have a heartbeat for up to ten mins afterwards, but fear not folks, the brain is dead after 3 mins with no air getting to it! NOW where was this man, when the
Terri Schiavo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia shit was going on.?
coulda spare the congress alot of mess to race back and stick thier noses into a persons wishes over a spouse health! Either way to me watching it all as i was cleaning my ghost nads, it was alittle on the tacky side and the human flicked the channel after the dr dude went on to say that sometimes ppls eyes can turn red from blood presuer from inside the brain, hence why the hood.

Moving on to other events happening in the world, it seems that the once great now loser Mike tyson, has had yet another run in with the law. http://rawstory.com/news/2006/Former_champ_Tyson_arrested_for_dru_12292006.html
Whats it going to take for this EDDDIOTT to wake up?

On the topic of losers, it seems more and more now that the Rosie O´donnel and donald trump verbal fight has taken even more low hits! This is what passes for celebrity status now-a-days? One loud mouth overly opiniated bitch and one, bad comb over former real estate heavyweight? These ppl should get a life! No a real one. When asked by a reporter over statements regarding his bankrupt past or alleged bankrupt past and his affairs he had while married, trump could only recite that he never was bankrupt, how much money he had, how he was on the cover of forbes, never once botherd to mention his lack of marrige vows being taken seriously! Now theres a man that thinks of only one thing. MONEY!
As for Rosie, her blog poem , well it sucked. And she really shouldint try poetry anymore then she should become the spokeswoman for weight watchers either.

I say, put these two inside a cage with a cattle prod and some bear spray. Get it over with already and lets get back to tv like it was befour, fake, glitter and fun to watch. Folks dont need this stress in thier living rooms anymore then they need a broken ps3!
Onto news inside The House Of Murphy!, heres a cute little email my owners recieved and thought they would share it with you.



Um,, ok!!

Gotta give the gal for trying yanno? Moving on, it seems here that the humans broke down tonight and decided like millions of other germans, to buy some fireworks to light up come newyears eve!! The non deadly kind, where one cannot blow off a human paw of go oopps, when say a bottle rocket, roman candle didint go in the desired direction. Nothing says OMG when one of those babys go shooting off underneath a parked car, and sits under the gas tank region. Funny i didint recall seeing one human race to like kick it out from the car either. It was more of a case of holy shit , run and take cover . Luckily for the EDDIOT who fired the rocket off, it didint make the cars gas tank explode. So the humans got 6 of those big blocks that ya light and sit back and watch it shoot differant colors of fireworks into the air up to 40 meters for about 5 mins. no boom boom, just alot of ´´oooooooh ahhhhhhh gnarly´´ stuff. Iam happy to report they wont be letting those things off here,, but 10 miles away at a party they are attending. Something like the pic below but more block shaped and 6 of those bad boys. See´´wasderface´´is from NYS and its ilegal there to own or buy any fireworks. So naturaly, they really want to get thier hands on em here without waiting for the blue lights to pull into thier driveway and get arrested for possesion of fireworks.

I guess ill know how they faired if they come home with a black sooten face and missing some eyebrows and a few eyelashes too.


and yes, the humans were asked to bring thier poker sets with em at this newyears eve party too. everything gets packed and soon drunk germans will bet for fun on craps, the roulette wheel and of course blackjack /poker too :) ahh tiss going to be a long night for us cats .







Heres hoping that no one really breaks the bank on newyears eve with all that gambling stuff.

Lemme see whats going on in the washington area for ya folks to read about tonight,,,http://thinkprogress.org/
thats got some stuff on there for anyone who wants to read about it. oh and this link too,,http://www.rawstory.com/ yeppers,, whole lotta of stuff there to read about. mostly about saddams soon to be deadman walking thing and other stuff.

Well i think iam going to wrap this blog up,, befour i do, lets see if there are any FUNNIES for tonight,,

MORE COOL VIDEO CLIPS www.break.com

so go to it humans and enjoy watching ppl for the most part act like EDDIOTS! Take care fine folks who stop by and read this blog, or not. Talk to ya monday and be sure to look for THE WEEKEND EDITION with Cain. untill then WORDS OF WISDOM,,,Credula vitam spes fovet et melius cras fore semper dicit - Credulous hope supports our life, and always says that tomorrow will be better. (Tibullus)


CIAO!!!!!
































































Thursday, December 28, 2006


So much for listening to the troops! Eveing yet again folks. Hit that above link and read what some of the troops over in iraq are saying. Why you are at it, read alot more on that websight. It might help in understanding the war in iraq. Or not.
Yet for more entertaining news, his this link to find out 100 things you didint know ! Its great for the know-it-alls . http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2006/12/100_things_we_didnt_know_last_2.shtml
if your lucky you can remember all 100 and impress your friends during the new years eve party,, er something.

As my owners were searching the internet to read news and other stuff, they found this and they really hope it works. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=425227&in_page_id=1774

Heres hoping that the news media catches wind of this story and this yr wont be like the last with bird flu scare storys! Is it me or is that all the press has lately? scare tactics? First its the terrorist, well thats stopped since the changing of the guard came from the Nov elections in the states! Hmmm,, wonder why ? If that isint enough to help thier slumping tv cable news ratings, they have on the most boring guest to fill a 15 min blank. I think the worst is the CBS eveing news.!
Katie colic,, errr curic is just boring to watch. To me,as a cat, looking at her , shes the sleeping pill the dr. prescribes humans who cant fall asleep. No wonder rene styler left! The reporting lacks any deep feel to it and its mostly the same pro bush war gung ho crap spun on a differant angle. Pete and repete news!
Second worse news is CNN international. Who cares about bizz asia? its 3:00am in the morning and my owner wants to watch larry king, not some bizz asia report.
they dont live in asia, nor will they invest in anything asian. At least over at the BBC, at that ungodly hour there is hardtalk. a talkshow that well, has some grit to it. So, as the networks see thier ratings slip and slide and lose out to internet news, its probably once again, back to the terror threat levels, or some other terror stuff, to keep the huddled mass togeather like scared sheep. And folks wonder why cats like to play and run around the house at night, theres nothing good on tv, thats why!!! any ways,, nuff of the news rants, lets find something fun to blog about already.

Sometimes in life, there are ppl that are winners , and there are those that are losers. I think these guys represent the losers. http://my.break.com/media/view.aspx?ContentID=199742
I wont ask why,, or wonder, or even try. These are the type of humans us cats walk wide around and hiss at when they attempt to pet us. I think cats are built in with a loser /winner detector. Shame other species dont have this talent yanno?

Onto News from The House Of Murphy! Tonight the humans played poker. and we arent talking for a couple of hours either. more like 8 hours. I guess with xmas presents that consist of a poker set and a back up poker chip set that contains 500 chips, its easy to see why it took so long . No one won. they called it a night and used ziplock freezer bags to hold thier chips so they can play again tomorow night. Now one of em is complaining about a backache. Well yes, EDDDIOTT sit on the couch for 8 hours only moving to drain the bladder or get some soda. And i bet ya one of em hides thier ziplock bag due to some fear of being ripped off by the other one as they sleep! Some folks and poker, geeze,, they get nutty over it. I cant wait untill they start using the roulette wheel that came with the set! OMG! ill never be allowed on the couch again from all the poker stuff laying on it .


Other then the poker game from hell, the boring news here, and the snow storm in colorado, not alot to blog about tonight folks. Bush is still a EDDIOTT leading the US down a wrong way turn into something that resembles shit. The worlds ppl still hates one another for thier belief in god or other gods or not . wars are still being fought, crooks still getting pats on the back and padding thier wallets, and dead men who really didint do shit for thier country , get medals or overdone funerals. Yep, ya didint miss much if you just came in from work and hadint had anytime to watch the news. Thats where being a cat is cool. because stuff like the above wont phase us. we eat, sleep, clean ourselfs, use you humans for a launchboard whenever and where ever possible, and our litter box is scooped!

ya cant live any better then that :) !!


this is what happens when you hide inside garbage cans.


A time for someone to wish they were dead! http://www.break.com/index/saran_wrap_toilet_prank.html


Elks lodge 65+ seniors batting practise! but its cool to have built this.http://www.break.com/index/first_baseball_hitting_robot.html


YAWN!!!!!!!! yes folks its that time where I, must depart and head on upstairs and take a catnap inside the pethut! thanks folks for stoping on by and reading this blog,, or not. Talk to ya fine folks tomorow, till then,,

WORDS OF WISDOM,,,,Adversus solem ne loquitor - Don't speak against the sun (don't waste your time arguing the obvious)


CIAO!!!!!








Wednesday, December 27, 2006

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LEFTOVERS!!!

Greetings again folks! Above is a pic my owners found and made remarks about how much fun it was ´´back then´´ when big family xmas dinners were common and all that jazz. Now for me , as a cat, it looks like a excellent chance to jump up on the that table and do some mega plate cleaning. MAN! think of all that gravy and small bits of turkey or ham or whatever, a human might have been to lazy to clean off . and check out what looks like the gravy boat in the back. Imagine if you can, all that fat that rose to the surface once it got cold and clotty. For a cat thats like a ice cream cone for a little kid yanno?

anyways,, enough about the mess from yesteryears. Lets move right along with todays latest crap thats going on in the world.


http://www.rawstory.com/ Ö There is just too much stuff to begin with. Id recommend reading the NRA story for starters. If it does turn out to be true , then my owners will be really dispointed in that group. :( Then theres the story about a ruptuerd pipeline in the gulf , galvestan texas thats spilled 21,0000 gallons of oil so far into the ocean. How nice for the fish.
and if you read further, theres the articule about how saddams appeal was lost and he will be hanged in january. All his hanging is going to accomplish is pissing off alot of already pissed off ppl! Send the prick to prison for the rest of his life.
The way i figure, when they hang em , this will put more ppl and troops in harms way, as loyalist of saddam will begin a revenge killing. But then again , wtf does washington care? its not thier mess anymore. Shit they can blame that on the unstable iraqi goverment yanno?

Um wait a min! Then why is president bush always telling my humans that this nation will use thier oil to highjack the mideast and its roadmap to peace. Someones lying ,,,,http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/energy/2006-12-26-iran-oil_x.htm?csp=34 ,,, will wonders never cease?


Anyways, things here in The House Of Murphy went smooth again today and tonight. Its the second day of xmas here in germany, so once again my owners dinned on the yummy leftovers . Us cats got our sheba cat food again. This time we kinda demanded it actually. We rasied alot of hell around the place and stalked the humans everytime they went into the kitchen. Only after they started to make thier supper, did they realize that oops, we forgot the cats! EDDDIOTS!!!
Oh and cain kinda got the upper hand on me today and got alitte rammy. I mean hes fat and if he attacks from behind and jumps on you, its gonna knock the wind right out of my lungs. So as iam laying there,, being batted at by cain like some cat pinata, i managed to let out my HELP meow. This made the humans yell the standard ´´HEY GUYS´´!!!!! and cain left . I layed there sucking in the air my lungs were screaming for prior to the yell. man is cain a fat ass!!!


FUNNIES!! ok this ones stupid and all i can think of is, Dont forget to breathe!


I dont think this newsman likes any spiders or snakes! Take 3 and action!

DO NOT VIEW IF EASILY SCARED OR FREAKED OUT!! and WTF is this ??

Imagine humans if all those video games you played, ever did come to life?

MMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh sadly there are some humans who drink this !

anyways, i think thats it for me tonight, time to head on upstairs and take a nap with the large fat one! yep, cain. Thanks folks for stoping on by and reading my blog, or not.
Talk to you fine ppl tomorow night. Till then,,,
WORDS OF WISDOM,,,,,Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum - So potent was religion in persuading to evil deeds. (Lucretius).

CIAO!!!




Tuesday, December 26, 2006


THIS, VS,
THIS!!!

Hello folks and merry second day of christmas to ya! Well , here in germany they celebrate 2 days of christmas. Not counting xmas eve.
Anyways, the first pics ill give ya the run down on. Picture one is the stuff us cats get only twice a yr. Its Sheba deluxe cat food! And boy is that stuff good. Even the humans commented on the fact it does not have that jelly smelly of some wet cat food. I mean for twice a yr, us cats arent going to turn our noses up at this yanno?
The second picture is what the humans had! Hmmm swinerbraten with rotkoal(sweet red cabbage) and something called knubbel, its like round potatoe balls?
of course with the gravy from the ´´kraut pot roast´´ and tossed salad too.
The humans had a nice xmas here. Gifts were exchanged and us cats got new collars . Now with us cats, touching our necks, anytime other then petting spells trouble and well, panic ! Yep, blame it on the first owners we had. They werent really great pet owners if you get my drift. Sadly this has spilled over into cathood and well, what can i say, we freak out when we feel a collar coming off or going on.
Christmas night, the humans managed to get cains old collar off and he ran off, came back and they got the new collar back on!

Now with me, murphy,, um its a entire new ball game. For one, ya gotta be quick , sly and faster then a fly . They tried very early this morning to give me my new collar but everytime i felt those fingers try to use the break off collar saftey thing, i was off like a rocket. This happend oh, id say, 5 times befour, ´´the spoiler´´ got lucky and got the old collar off me. Then came the new job of getting the new one on. So, after knowing that ´´the spoiler´´ was up to no good, i didint even see ´´wasderface´´ sneak attack . But as they put the collar on me, YIKES they found out it was to small!
Maybe it was my twisting of my neck and trying to get out of the thing, or the fact that they saw complete panic in my eyes. Either way, the new collar was yanked off and i meowed a raspy,, ´´thanks for the choke hold fools!!!´´
More messing with the measuring stuff, this time, they let me sniff the new collar out, its leather, not cloth like the old one, and its not so um,, girly looking like the old one either. So i sniffed it out,, and batted it around on the couch and suddenly boom it was around my neck. snapped.

I could breathe!!! i wasint panicked, i looked more shocked then hurt. Kinda like when someone gets a needle and they are afraid of em and they look the other way as most humans do when the dr, injects em and they didint even feel a thing? Yep , that was kinda my reaction too :) So now cain and i are looking dandy with our new collars and new lite up kitty toys! Seems these new toys, if ya swat at em hard enough, bounce all over the place and light up blinking diff lights . We got a new one tonight, this ones round like a ball, so it actually rolls and wont bounce inside our water bowl or god forbid, the humans coffee cups Ö!
Gotta admitt they are fun, but the blinky thing dont last long. But when the humans throw the blinkys inside the pet hut,, HOLY SHIT!!!!!! its like entering a cave with a spastic strobe light. It really gets my rocks off folks .
Plus as i know the humans that just rent here,, as us cats own this place and at times,own them, we hung out for thier ´´are you hungry iam hungry ?´´ routine and as they shared a plate of the kraut pot roast, cain and i , batted our sweet eyes and gave em our most cute look and of course this worked like a charm too. Ahh they are so easy iama telling ya folks! But truth be told, i like my sheba wet food more.
Cain? he really has not a care in the world where food comes from so long as it comes and goes into his mouth. Be it made by the humans or some machine that mechanicaly seperates chickens,, hes happy most when hes eating :)
So The House Of Murphy cannot gripe nor complaine about anything this xmas. It went well,, both my owners familys and friends are doing great and all is well .

And as a extra bonus, the humans are staying home today! good. it gets kinda lonely here, with one dim light left on for us cats, and no tv or radio for company. All day long all i heard was cain snorning! Boy you should hear em. sounds like a detriot deisel running down the track at full speed!

NEWS!
GOD FATHER OF SOUL!!!

Rest in peace ! If you folks every read his story, you would see that he was not born with any spoon in his mouth. My owners liked a few of his songs. Plus the fact that he was just recently inducted in the UK rock and roll hall of fame one month ago!!!!! Prior to that he made it into the Rock and Roll hall of fame in the states.
Yanno , he should have hooked up with little richard and made some song. any song actually because both are excellent artist! Sadly that wont happen now :(
But james left behind a son, james . jr. Lets see if he follows in his dads music career( but leave the bad personal stuff out). So from my owners to james brown

AOOahhhoW I FEEL GOOD!!!

On to more events here , well my owners were happy that thier amazon.de dvd player showed up like promised and it was given to that sweet old lady on xmas eve! At first the humans gave her a whole bunch of dvds, and she was like saying, ´´well i guess its time i go out and buy one,, can you kids help me´´? ( kids at 37 age?)
Then the ´´hey did you hear that sound,,i think i hear something´´ and the humans brought out the dvd player,, wrapped of course. I swear, when i hear my owners tell the story, it was so nice :) !!! I never saw a old person cry befour, as a cat, and i dont think i want to either. Yet it was happy tears so,, i guess thats ok yanno? so the humans hooked it up for moma and badda boom badda bing, shes using that dvd player like no tomorow.
course i wont mention the fact that afterwards, the humans here showed moma how to play poker and she WON!!!!! first time ever playing too! thats for another time .
lemme see what other news,, i can bring you folks,,,

FUNNIES!!!! oh boy,, poor jean claude! LINK:http://www.break.com/index/van_damme_hides_a_boner.html
Nope ya cant make this stuff up either folks!! I think he lost control towards the first girl he was dancing with, after that,, pfft? perhaps next time a image of ann coulter would help!

Ok the last guy, um,, NO COMMENT with his scream!
well,, there you go again,,,,

My time here is up. Hope you humans had a nice christmas and spent it with family , friends and loved ones. and didint forget the pets either.
Ill talk to ya fine folks tomorow, oh and thanks for stopping on by and reading this blog,,, or not!

WORDS OF WISDOM,,,,,,,Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum - The great thing is to know when to speak and when to keep quiet.
CIAO!!!!!!!!!














































Monday, December 25, 2006




MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS!

with warm wishes from Murphy, Cain, The Spoiler
and wasderface.



Saturday, December 23, 2006

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFOUR DHL!!!

or UPS my owners dont care !
run dont walk dammit!!!

Hello fine human slaves! This is the weekend edition of My View From The Litter Box, with your Sub Blogger, MR. CAIN!!!!!!!
We start off tonights blog with some very bad news for humans and defective xmas presents. It seems that when buying a DVD player for another human, its a good idea to open it up and make sure it works. And not on december 23 either!



Sadly that was the case this afternoon when the humans made sure the dvd player they got for a eldery lady worked and played photo dvds too! Upon connecting the dvd player and using the remote control that came with it, the humans found out that it no workie! Thinking that perhaps the batteries in the remote were like dead, they switched em and still no workie! OOPS! Now what to do ? here its like one day befour christmas eve , one broken dvd remote control or infared sensor shit the bed. Either way it was a case of think fast, cry later! Thank god for one of the humans cool heads and said the words INTERNET SEARCH. 24 hour delivery. new. better. fast. all is well in the land of gift giving!
After a sob fest from more rage and aggrivation did this task begin! AMAZON.DE
Seems there they found a dvd player , and it promised that it would be shipped overnight and arrive on sunday xmas eve day! I mean for the extra amount of money that was required to insure this delivery wasint cheap but well worth it!

How can anyone show up at a old ladys house xmas eve for dinner , empty handed ? well i mean, they would have shown up with the ladys tupperware bowls from the food she made last week at family dinner but still!!!

So the humans placed thier order and ones pretty sure that it will arrive as promised, while the other is on pins and needles and its near that time where us cats wish they would take a valium or something to calm thyself! Every two hours they grab the laptop and scramble type the password into amazon and check the status of thier order. um yep said it was processed and is on the truck! But it didint say which truck!! More panic! I mean amazon cannot give ya the drivers name, cell phone and his invoice he has, expect em to pull over on the side of the road, dig for your order and tell ya on the cell phone ´´yo nut case iam holding it now wanna hear it?´´ and they proceed to shake the shit out of the carton!!!!
Lets be good humans and leave the drivers to the drive. Of course the human still wants the package id from amazon and that might take another few hours. So in the meantime, they will play the ´´lemme check amazon game´´ for any new info.
what more can amazon do? send the humans a email saying,,

´´dear valued customer, while we are thrilled that your happy as a pig in shit with the order you placed and with your continued shopping from our stores, its come to our attention that your IP number has crashed our sight 3 times now in the duration of 4 hours. While we understand your manic panic about recieving your pack by tomorow, we here at amazon ask you to please cease this practise and leave our staff alone . One nervous breakdown in our shipping and reciveing department was enough for us. Thank you taking the time concerning this matter. FREAK´´!!

anyways enough about the humans mad dash for a dvd player! oh and the old one they lost the receit for so thats gonna be a back up spare one in case thiers breaks and has to be gone for a few days for repair. Imagine the horror of having you humans lift your asses from the couch to pause a dvd or oh my gosh, shut it off!Ö
why its criminal i say!

NEWS. well it seems that the UN imposed sanctions on iran like everyone knew they would. Now irans mad at the un and the nations that voted for this. well.. i mean , ya cant have a nutcase running amuck saying shit like certian nations should be wiped off the face of the map. Did the moron think he was going to get a goodie bag from the UN and slaps on the back?

another case of the flipfloppers ? some folks just kiss ass while others die needlessly!

more outrageous shit to read . Why yes, this is the right idea! and while we are it, lets have every muslim in the states convert the christians too! how many doors being slammed shut and in this links case how many crusades on horseback? LINK.
http://www.bluenc.com/robin-hayes-says-we-will-win-in-iraq-by-spreading-the-message-of-jesus-christ-there how about we gtf out of there and let ppl practise thier religion of choice, kinda what the constitution allows us americans to do!

http://mediamatters.org/items/200612220013 yanno when my owners read this , and then talked about it, i was like ehh? who are these ppl and why do other ppl even bother to listen to the pure shit that oozes from thier mouths? As i was cleaning my buttock region, the name ann coulter rang a bell. i then proceeded to clean my now none existing nads and kinda understand this womans problem. It happens after surgery !!
Well I think thats about it from here for THE WEEKEND EDTION!! time to like hit they hay and pretend sleep while i hear the humans downstairs wraping presents for us cats !!! silly humans, we can smell cat nip toys miles away and know the sound of sheba tins too! But we will be good boys untill tomorow night.
Thanks for viewing this blog folks. Hope everyone has a nice xmas eve, and ill try to talk to ya folks again tomorow for another weekend edition!

Regards,,,,


MR.CAIN,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Sub Blogger!!!!!











Friday, December 22, 2006

Thanks but no thanks Catster!
IN THIER LETTER OOOH IN THIER LETTER!!!
sung to the tune, in your letter. by REO speedwagon! I know my owners are old for some. Anyways, let us start this blog off with a email my owners recieved yet again from those profesionals over on www.catster.com.
Lee,Sorry to be so long getting back to you. It's the holiday crunch time and all.
Anyway, Randi and I discussed the situation yesterday and determined that Murphy's page had been flagged by a user who not only read the page, but took the time to back read the diary to the entry where you copied the e-mail correspondence we exchanged (and you copied into the diary) about the last flagging.
In that exchange we gave examples of the language.Well, we unkenneled the page and contacted the well-meaning member to ask them to relax a bit and give folks some breathing room.
Randi also gave the person a time out from being able to kennel pages.Randi and I also discussed the experiment of your disclaimer and we think it actually contributed to the problem.
Much like how those TV disclaimers "This program may not be suitable, etc." actually drive ratings up for all age levels, your disclaimer was part of what drew the attention of our well-meaning Catster.
If you recall, I wasn't very optimistic that the disclaimer would work:This is not to say that your experiment (it can only be called an experimentsince I know of no other pet page with such a disclaimer) is not worth trying.I'm just not very confident the approach will work in our community. [Wed, 15 Nov 2006 18:10:54 -0500]
Randi and I would suggest that you remove the disclaimer. Of course, it's totally up to you, but we think the disclaimer has proven to be counter productive.
While we can't promise Murphy's page won't get kenneled, we don't think it is as likely to happen since you took the heavy duty stuff to MySpace. As I reviewed Murphy's page and diary to find the problem (and it took me forever to get to the problem entry), I noted that you have indeed altered your posting style.
You're still "edgy" and sarcastic, but you have dropped the courser language and we appreciate you doing so.As a way of making all of this inconvenience up to you, we added some zealies and rosettes to your account. We appreciate your patience and we're glad you chose Catster as an online home for Murphy.We hope you and Murphy and your other furrbabies have a Meowvelous Holiday Season!Meow!-john d.--catster community watch cat-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Dogster & Catster: where no one knows you're a humandogster.com / catster.com
Remember those odds i gave ya last night folks about it somehow being my owners fault? well looks like i was right. My owners loved the discription of me, , ´´sarcastic and edgy´´! Well so was garfeild but i dont recall any syndicated newspaper removing his comic strip due to someone taking offence! OH and note that the profesionals typed i use myspace. WTF? dont they ever read emails in thier intire or just skip thru em? ATTENTION PPL! if anyone reading this thinks they are on the webpage myspace, please leave now , thank you!
As for all this little misunderstanding, the profesionals over at www.catster.com gave me a shit load of zealies and rosettes!
Shit folks i dont even use catster anymore. Thats like given someone who lost a leg a pair shin guards! DUH! Anyways , my owners typed em back a letter of which they informed those folks that i dont use myspace nor will i remove my disclaimer from the old non used catster page. It will stay up and if this crap happens again, pfffft! Let them mess with it and keep having to respond to my owners emails . Yanno what they say, any publicity is good ! ;)~ oh heres the link for my non used catster page,http://www.catster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=72606
Hit that link and see what lurks beneath the deep! Imagine being out swiming in the ocean and see this thing come at you! Plus imagine all that calamari!!! its enough to feed a party of 200. Not that i care for that stuff. It makes squeeky noises on my teeth when i chew it.
Other news to link ya up with this eveing.
For those just to damn lazy to study harder and get better grades, heres a idea to try! http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/011674.php. Why its now the latest fad to go out and hire hackers to hack into your schools comps and fuck around with your grades. A is for asshole and B is for Busted! Now the C , well thats for contempt this little punk has for the rest of the humans who had to bust thier ass to get good grades! But due to his repentance, its doubtful he will see any jail time. yanno the routine folks.
NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!!!!!! About the only ppl who still view Bush as anything worthy, are those top 1% who make over 10 million + a yr. Oh and of course the boys over at big oil and the now dead enron. Yanno , as a cat it still amazes me that there were those that actually voted for this man. twice!
Finaly for the motherload of reading to do via blogs, heres a link for ya, http://journals.democraticunderground.com/BlogBox/39
I suggest one gathers thier favorite beverage and some snacks prior to this sit down and the constant saying of OMG!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and for someone looking for that little keepsake to pass down to family members or just perhaps a good luck charm to wear with a chain, heres a articule my owners found thats got everyone muttering the words,, ´´huh´´?
Not only cant he board any airlines, he will also set off many handheld scanning devices at concerts , bball games etc.
FUNNIES!
Dudes a bit wacked but some of em are great!
DMV LICENSE,, only in virgina folks !
At last but not least, how NOT to make small talk at walmarts while in the checkout lane!
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina atWal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The PurinaDiet again, although Iprobably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that itworks is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid lady...why else would I buy dog food??
Well folks thats my blog for this eveing! Thanks for stoping on by and checking it out, or not. Dont forget, Cains Weekend Editon, starts tomorow. Take care folks and i´ll talk to you again come monday. From me, please all have a merry christmas !
WORDS OF WISDOM,,,,,,,,,Vigilando, agendo, bene consulendo, prospera omnia cedunt - By watching, by doing, by counsulting well, these things yield all things prosperous. (Sallust).
CIAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 21, 2006


STEPPING OFF THAT HIGH HORSE!!!



well as some of you might know from lastnights blog, regarding www.catster.com and thier banning a daily diary that ceases to be active on thier websight, heres a email my owners received this eveing from those folks. read this and judge for yourselfs as to what actions will be taken .For my owners they think its nothing more then stalling for time as they attempt to weed out the constant complainers on thier websight and attempt to re write yet again thier guide line rules of what can be said, published or otherwise used on thier pet websight. Its like something of GWB cabinet meeting yanno? keep these ppl happy and pull the rug on these ppl routine! Neither me nor my owners are holding our breath for any good outcome. just more of pass the buck!

Lee,We're working on this.Thursday afternoon (12-21), Randi (Guide Cat) and I (Watch Cat) are going to be talking about this. We hope to be able to offer you some suggestions on how to avoid this problem re-occurring. It might be as late as tomorrow before you hear back from myself or Randi.Thank you for your patience. This isn't the sort of issue that can be worked out quickly. Too easy to make mistakes from not taking sufficient time to think the whole thing through. The goal is to reach a workable solution so we don't have to revisit this down the road.And thanks for loving Caster. We love you right back!Meow!-john d.--catster watch cat-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Dogster & Catster: where no one knows you're a humandogster.com / catster.com

ok I give this 10 t0 1 odds that somehow another email will be sent out to my owners where they are told it was somehow thier own fault ! I liked this, sentence
We hope to be able to offer you some suggestions on how to avoid this problem re-occurring.

Um folks the only problem thats re-occuring is the fact that the profesionals at catster, need to make a new complaint system! I dont use catster anymore, hence why iam here on blogger. There is no petty complaints or pussy moms or dads ( as in stage moms)here on blogger, that think thier cat is tops on the websights and will stop at nothing from making sure thier cat gets ahead and stays there . This means winning diary picks of the week, day, cat of the day, etc. Yanno catster, used to be fun untill they went ape shit and added way to much new features. Now you have groups of cats that well, thier owners are so obesssed with thier pet, that they spend morning ,noon and night on there. So if some pussy mom or dad, complained about my diary, then i can only conclude they are nothing more then complete assholes! Ban a banned diary? One that came with a warning that it was not ok for kids under the age of 18 to read? Ok then,,,,,, and all this around christmas time too!!! ahhh tiss the season to be nutty.

Then came the kicker in late lastnights email folks! Look at what catster sent my owners as a merry christmas from us deal!

Dear Lee , Meow meow!
Happy Holidays!
Happy Meowidays to all you wonderful Catsters!
Please enjoy 10 free Zealies in your account and a Rosette on your page from HQ. Happy Meow Meow,Ted, John, Steven & Catster HQCatster, here kitty, kitty!http://www.catster.com/fetch/?id=64 :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==: :==:You are receiving this monthly newsletter based upon your set preferences.To unsubscribe, "click here".

sorry www.catster.com but my owners arent zealie whores who can be bought so easy and take this feeble gift and just say thanks and forget about the on going crap they have put my owners thru not once, not twice but three times now!!
Cain spouted off on his catster account lastnight ! Kudos for little brothers who stick by thier older brothers yanno? The fat puck made me mighty proud :)




MR. CAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




AND ME KUNG FOO FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to news of the world! If anyone watched television the other night and saw the exchange of words,between rosie O´donnell and the donald, ya had to laugh at both of em! Both have mouths that make the hole in the ozone layer look small by way of comparison. Who really cares about these ppl and thier so called status? Ones a loud mouth bitch the other a loud mouth prick with a very bad comb over!!! damn donald, ya have the cash, buy a better rug for the love of hair already!http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah3204.shtml great video too !!!

Other news to bring to you. This ones about Germanys reluctance to get its feet wet and dirty in afgahnastan! I mean they build the latest super state of the art weapons and pretty much sell em to other countries! Hold your nose, dont look down and jump feet first into it already!! http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,456013,00.html oh and while they were busy mulling over this, some folks demanded this !!!!http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1518,455996,00.html: from war planes to hamsters, there something to be said about the duelality of being german or living here for that matter! Hmmm which protest sign should my owners grab and march with ? Heres a idea, how about NONE! But ya gotta admitt folks its from one extream to another at times here. Well i think that wraps it up here for me. Think i will make my way on over to the water bowl drink deep and then crash out for tonight! Thanks folks for stoping on by and visiting THE HOUSE OF MURPHY!yet again too, thanks for reading this blog, or not! talk to ya fine folks come tomorow. take care and till then,,

WORDS OF WISDOM,,,,,,,Cuiusvis hominis est errare; nullius nisi insipientis in errore perseverare - Any man can make a mistake; only a fool keeps making the same one.

CIAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!








Wednesday, December 20, 2006


BEATING A DEAD HORSE!

www.catster.com. Yanno folks, if some dont recall the reason why i started this blog on blogger, well it was due to the above link. Seems that my owners for two years plus had me on that websight and i used to keep what catster calls a daily diary? Sadly, due to someone or a group of prudes, or both, catster had banned my diary not once but twice due to lingo someone complained about. Yes the words like pisspot and bastid werent to be used on thier sight because someone found them offensive. Like any good human, my owners decided that they had really no time for such petty arguments and thats when they put me here on blogger :) best idea of em in my whole 6 yrs of life too.
Now, it seems , that even in absentia, my old diary on catster was banned again!

I know folks, its like ehhh? How can someone or some group ban a diary that was banned prior? I mean its a case of like the old saying goes, beating a dead horse.
I will note, the first email my owners received from catster was where they declared that my owners were vile for using such language to describe thier pet.
At the time when the name pisspot was used off and on, unknown to many, I was harboring a fingernail size bladder stone inside of me! So when i stopped using the cat box and peed everywhere else, the term pisspot came about. Only after puddles of blood were discoverd by my owners and the vet telling em that it didint look good for me, did then i tell my story on catster daily diary! So anyone who read my diary must have known that yep, i was peeing all over the place.!
Not that anyone at catster .com, gave a shit. In due process of thier pretty broad and endless terms of use, they banned my diary for one week untill thier staff of profesionals, could determine what punishment my crime was fit for.

Thier conclusion? They went back and edited most of the recent posts I made and changed my nick names of pisspot and bastid and left it blank.

Now on thier websight,, it USED to say, that anything that can be said on the tv show the simpsons, can be said here. Mysteriously, that since has been taken down and replaced with a very wide range of terms of agreements which leaves many a loopholes for anyone to fall thru or jump!
What this means that, if person x at the age of 45 yrs old, does not care for your pets diary because a word was used that they found offensive, and it can be any word too, they can inform the catster staff and untill the profesionals at catster get off thier collective ass´s to read the complaint then read the diary , your pets diary is locked down . There is no way for you to enter it . Nothing. Now i wonder if this practise they use also applies for the catster pro plus they offer on thier site for a mere 9$ something yearly? or for those folks that buy alot of zealies or stars , which are tiny icons you can give to other cats on the websight you find darling and just want to say HIYA! I mean, say lady Y age 66 brought 1000 zealies and used the term SOB on her catster diary and someone objected. Would the profesionals over at catster take this ladys money, lock her out of her pets account untill her case was up for review? Sounds pretty fishy to me folks. And to alot of other catster users as well.

So low and behold last night as my owners were reading thier catster email they had gotten for cain as i dont use that sight anymore, imagine thier suprise when they saw a email from a concerned pet owner who informed them that Murphys old diary, the one he left over two months ago, was now Banned again, pending further review by the profesionals editors at www.catster.com.
Sure they take your money from you humans but if a word is used that another pet owner dislikes, files a complaint, your account is unobtainable by the pets owners and i think thats very ilegal ! Thats what a password is for to enter your own account at www.catster.com.! But in thier wisdom, even this in not possible untill your ofensive pet is reviewed by the profesionals at catster. Oh and they even tell you that this process might take up to 72 hours to get back to you, should you fire off a letter of complaint. In the meantime? yep, your locked out of your pets account!

So, ill wait along with my owners for the 72 hours as to why my old non used www.catster.com daily diary is being reviewed by the profesinals . Why i just cant wait for thier brilliant excuse as to why this happend a 3rd time now! In the meantime, my brother cain will copy and paste this on his www.catster.com diary he has and see what happens to his account. Because cain only does the weekend editions here nothing more and nothing less. However, if things should become once again petty for those profesionals over at www.catster.com, then cain too will say, adios and i guess we will somehow make it a two party member blog :)

OMG!! whats that up above? why its the furry and wrath of a pet owner WHEN their pet is being abused and unfairly picked on!! RUN YOU EEEEDIOTS RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and keep checking back for any new info and emails my owners might recieve from www.catster.com and thier feeble lame feedback they offer in thier defence too. Ill make sure to copy and paste all it here for your folks entertainment!
On to news from the world. Heres a story my owners found to be quite stupid and will pray for this mans soul (snark) http://thinkprogress.org/2006/12/20/gallagher-damon-olbermann/
Why yes!! Lets start marching folks up and throw em inside some camps untill they knuckle down and accept the ways of the dark force! I mean how hitler like to even suggest this, let alone make it public? I swear if you put a ear to the wind, you can hear the sounds of those jackboots just a running in the night! oh and dont forget the whistles too! blown by the followers of man in office and speak straight from thier inflamed colon which would make any colitis patient seem like a safe bet onto what shit passes for news today!
When john kerry said the above link ppl booed and said bad idea etc. NOW because jr.dipshit in the whitehouse is saying it , due to the iraq study report made by his dads friends to bail his ass out of mucho trouble, its ok ? Whos the flip flopper here folks? some ppl are so dumb and are easily lead off of cliffs when the banging of the drum begins! MORE LEMMINGS PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
and so much for BUSH and his no child left behind act! Check this blog out ! my owners were disgusted by this complete dump being taken on americans by thier very own elected goverment! NO EXCUSE for this garbage being accepted as a way of living in america. shamfull and sad were the words that came to mind for me as a cat !
Well thats it from my end of the globe here in Germany! Thanks folks who stop by and read my blog, or not! Talk to ya fine ppl tomorow. Till then, dont take any crap with anyone when it comes to your pets and their web being either!!!
WORDS OF WISDOM,,,,,,,,Multi famam, conscientiam pauci verentur - Many fear their reputation, few their conscience. (Pliny).
CIAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!